During the last decade I’ve been working tirelessly to find my own path in arts and in life, in general.
2024 brought many new beginnings professionally.
In many ways, years on persistent work started to bear fruit this year and open pathways that felt really aligned. Many goals and visions felt different as they arrived because I had changed along the way.
Sometimes things happen when you don’t even think that it’s anymore possible for those things to happen.
On a larger scale various events have been heartbreaking to witness.
Releasing the Väki album during 2023 has carried me in many ways, though the album hasn’t received much attention in Finland. Creating and finishing important projects always clarifies so many things that one can only learn through commitment and challenges. It’s also the only way to evolve as a creative.
Sometimes things happen when you don’t even think that it’s anymore possible for those things to happen.
Maybe there’s a way to work that doesn’t mean losing yourself. Maybe there’s a way to do this that doesn’t feel like faking.
This year has brought many meaningful events. Our performances with Huojuu elämän puu -crew have meant so much to me. I have been given many possibilities and I’ve done my best to give my all in each of the projects. There’s so many things I’d want to share about various different projects along the way but some of these things I can’t express and some of it I will share more a bit later.
This gig in Pori was a fun surprise – that it happened – and the experience with all of the peeps involved ended up being hugely meaningful in various ways. I understood some big things.
One big thing during this year was a gig we had in Pori with Olavi Uusivirta crew. We met years and years ago with Olavi when I started gigging more in Helsinki and I performed a lot as a warm-up act for different artists. During the years we’ve become friends and music hasn’t even been connected to our friend gang’s gatherings. This gig in Pori was a fun surprise – that it happened – and the experience with all of the peeps involved ended up being hugely meaningful in various ways. I understood some big things.
Years 2006-2016 I toured a lot solo. I performed as ’singer-songwriter’, it was me and my nord electro and later me and mandolin. During those years in therapy I began dealing with an old trauma relating to abuse. During those years it also started becoming harder and harder for me to tour and open up as a vocalist and a musician in solo concerts while during at least every other gig I experienced some kind of harassment. I worked then a lot in the indie-pop and indie-rock scene and saw and experienced many disturbing things. Started drinking quite a lot while touring solo cause alcohol gave a feeling of (false) protection. There were also sudden deaths around me and my music colleagues.
Metoo-movement started changing things also here in the north around 2016, but for me the change came too late then. Around 2016 I ended up deleting all my music pages in social media and cancelled all my solo gigs. Gave myself the permission to quit performing as ’a solo artist’.
Everyone is on their own path, and success really means different things to different people.
Music industry in many ways is just another fuel for the capitalistic system. A lot of it is just power-dynamics and noise, and many industry people are in it for all the wrong reasons. For example just think of the most successful streaming platforms and how the profit is shared.. If you don’t join the game it’s harder to establish your place or to find your audience. And, only a few really gain the needed status to try and change the systems.
Yes, it is not hopeless, but it is what it is and those who know know how it can eat you up from inside.
To gain a more public profile as an artist is risky – meaning, the attention doesn’t necessarily mean that one feels that they are doing and giving their best work - - it can be hard to even see that difference any more when the pressure builds. Everyone is on their own path, and success really means different things to different people. In all cases, it can be very, very hard to find and surround yourself with a team that really wants what’s good for you. That’s the industry machine – a lot of it is just chasing profit at any cost.
During the last decade I’ve been working tirelessly to find my own path in arts and in life, in general. I’ve taken big risks and I’ve been feeling very low.
Around year 2020 I had planned doing solo gigs again. In between 2016 and 2020 I just started making a lot of changes. Really went back to the roots and questioned basically everything. During 2020 the pandemic came.
I released my album 2023 and have been exploring the steps forward. Mainly I’ve been focusing on other projects because it has been challenging to re-start my solo live again. And, yes, in a way it has also still scared me. I’ve loved all the other work that has been offered to me during past years.
On ‘Väki’ we created a soft, caring sonic embrace. That album was also my way to bring in more light, to express gentleness in this world, and to get through the darkness and the weight that had been there.
Back to the Pori gig - - the experience gave me new hope. Maybe there’s hope within this industry. Maybe there’s a way to work that doesn’t mean losing yourself. Maybe there’s a way to do this that doesn’t feel like faking. I experienced a truly professional and creatively ambitious team; they loved working together and everyone had experienced many sides of the industry and had a strong vision relating to how they want to do things. And what’s most important they were not afraid to take a stand relating to current societal issues and they wanted to try and create new systems in which to operate within the business.
Olavi Uusivirta is one of the biggest names in Finland; he is a music artist, writer, actor and I would say also an activist. He is always trying to find new ways inside the industry to create something better for all and he has his values with him as he moves ahead with different projects.
I received touching messages after the concert from people who had felt touched and moved by the music. I felt I could maybe love the work again - - even if it meant that I would need to deal with the industry more, again.
In Pori I felt like I was given a chance to continue from where I left off. How I started years ago ’with my solo career’ was something that Olavi witnessed at least to some extend. I think he also saw me giving up. Now, I went to the stage as ’a solo artist’ and shared some of my own songs on the gig – some of these original songs I hadn’t played live in years. I played album songs. And we played Olavi’s songs together. There was also a lot of improvised parts during the concert, with the larger concert crew, and all of it felt Real.
I received touching messages after the concert from people who had felt touched and moved by the music. People had found the album. It felt so good to receive those messages. I have felt I could maybe love the work again - - even if it meant that I would need to deal with the industry more, again.
I feel that in some ways we all are sharing the many sorrows that our human existence carries right now, we all feel a certain weight of the privileges we might have, and we all wish that we could do more. We all are disappointed to our governments. We all are trying to keep our heads above the water while capitalism is still trying to have its way and we all know the clock is really ticking. We all start to remember more and more that we are beings of Earth and we are minerals of Earth. And this all is what can be felt during these events when we go together a bit deeper, and we share emotion and we share humanity. In the end, what ever makes us feel more connected makes us want to do better, as humans.
I think this thing applies to various different professional paths: how to keep doing what you do in a way that is (not even more sustainable but actually) regenerative?
I was sg multiple thank you’s after Olavi’s gig, to the whole crew, I was really showering them with gratitude as much as I could. I couldn’t then express why I felt so grateful, I didn’t yet fully understand what had happened.
You see, I’m thinking, economics is not the same than capitalism. There are ways to work that are a whole lot healthier and it’s possible to shift things to create more just systems.
We just need to remember that there are also other options – capitalistic economical system is not the only way to go.
Overall, you see, Olavi’s sold out tour happened in smaller venues and often in small theaters. So, the concerts brought in income for small businesses. Pori’s concert happened in an indie theater, the venue is hosted by two small businesses.
The Finnish (right-wing) government is cutting funds from the arts and from education, and from environmental work. Also around here, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
I think this thing applies to various different professional paths: how to keep doing what you do in a way that is (not even more sustainable but actually) regenerative? How to make a change? How can we use our privileges in ways that help the bigger whole? How can we try and stay loyal to our values while we deal with a world that is operating within an economic system that’s connected to a capitalistic economical system?
Art is a business. I want to see that in the future we talk more about the ways we operate within that business. I want to see that we have the courage to challenge those systems within the arts that function in capitalistic ways, and I want us to talk more about decolonizing arts education and decolonizing all the related industries.
Certain institutions and certain ways of working feel totally impossible for me now if it means that to work in these certain surroundings we’d need to be silent about privileges and power imbalances. All the horrific genocides, wars and injustices around the world are related to capitalism. Almost all professions are linked to capitalism. Educational institutions are often linked to capitalism. Governments are linked to capitalism. We just need to remember that there are also other options – capitalistic economical system is not the only way to go. Economic systems were not even systems of trade before patriarchy.
I will do my best to continue moving in conscious ways during 2025 and beyond. I will keep challenging my ways and the systems that I’m involved in. I will keep educating myself.
The small indie musician harassed in a meeting with a more established music industry person, or the local forrest that gets cut down by some mining company, or the peoples that are exploited because of oil deals, or the waters that get poisoned because of industrial waste products, or nation states that violate indigenous rights - - it’s all capitalism. And it is also colonialism. The structures are made by humans and can be changes by humans.
I will do my best to continue moving in conscious ways during 2025 and beyond. I will keep challenging my ways and the systems that I’m involved in. I will keep educating myself. I will try to find more ways to share this process and all the concerns in all of my works. I will do my best to try and share the life force and the visions for better ways.
I know I can’t and I won’t be able to do it alone.
No matter the position, the genre, the profession, the moment we are all dealing with these same subjects.
We carry on. We keep on carrying each other through this all. And sometimes things happen when you don’t even think that it’s anymore possible for those things to happen.
Thank you for your company and thank you for reading this.
Wishing us all the best for 2025 –
Freedom and Peace.
With much warmth,
Teea